this beautiful and blogtastic writing activity was presented to me by the beautiful jade. i am very grateful for this opportunity to share and write, and i look forward to your responses.
Rules: Once you've read this.... respond with your random 25, if you feel so compelled. i'm only asking because i'm incessantly interested in engulfing myself in you ;)
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1. i was named by a random stranger who appeared to console my unmarried, teenage, distraught mother who was crying on a park bench on long island. according to her, he was an angel. and i believe her
2. i am consistently fascinated with the ability of my mind and heart to possess a flamboyant idea/desire, and then run for the hills with it
3. i will one day obtain a PhD. i have absolutely no time frame or course of action for said endeavor. it is also no attempt at notariety, other than to further my goal of life-long learning, and to be able to share that with others.
4. over the last year and a half, i've unintentionally created this sunday-is-do-nothing-but-pleasurable-laziness-day. i plan on keeping this.
5. i am intensely and ridiculously passionate and gush excitement about all kinds of crazy, minute intricacies of life. 'tis my child-like quality that i never plan to part with
6. i can recite the alphabet backwards. and quickly. i'll challenge you.
7. i have a deep sense of knowing about certain things, that i neither need proof of, or approval of by anyone.
8. i am currently beginning to examine what freedom and commitment mean to me. i hope to get really clear about my needs and desires, and to one day be as comfortable lavishing someone else with as much freedom as i need and want for myself
9. i've never had a desire to marry or bear a child. however, i'm not closed off to the possibility of the transition of this desire (** i added this second sentence later, and i don't know if its truly because i feel this way, or if its because i fear no one will ever understand me or love me because of it)
10. looking back on recent transitions, i think that i have liberated myself from being my own worst enemy.
11. i have an intense connection to spanish culture, and it is a life goal of mine to both be fluent in the language, and to spend some time in a spanish speaking culture and country.
12. i want exactly four things in my future dream home: a wall of books, a spiral staircase, a window seat, and an excellent, oversized, old fashioned tub.
13. i one day hope to have enough space and time in my life for a golden retriever. his full name will be ignatius j reilly, after my favorite literary character, and i'll refer to him as iggy for short.
14. i hope that i am able to provide the world and its residents with as much beauty, awe, inspiration, and transformative power as it instills within me.
15. i am, by far, the happiest i've ever been in my life. (and i know in my heart, it only gets better from here)
16. i am very prejudiced when it comes to writing pens. blue and ballpoint, all the way.
17. i've realized that its not necessary for others to accept me for who i am... i've learned to love and celebrate myself; others just seem to follow
18. the sky and all its inhabitants have always and will always be ceaselessly perplexing to me.
19. i am blessed with the gift of bizarrely beautiful friends. i am truly surrounded with the top knotch souls on this planet. and the circle keeps expanding.
20. i am moved to tears by nature, or some aspect of existence within, on a daily basis.
21. i hope that others find me as beautiful, fascinating, and inspirational as i find them.
22. my sense of inadequacy and insecurity has diminished radically. i've always blamed the combined existence on my father. that too is diminishing.
23. i've come to the understanding that there is no such thing as absolute truth, true love, or a right way to live. each person creates their own truth, and no one can live anyone else's truth.
24. i have figured out that my unquenchable excitement many times develops into expectations, which then lead to disappointment and heartache. i'm working on figuring out how to de-link the two. i think that this realization is step one.
25. i am consistently awed by the presence of synchronicity on this journey... and i revel in all of the serendipitous experiences and souls that i meet on my walk down this long and beautiful path.
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Soulful and uplifting.
ReplyDeleteYou must have enjoyed doing this if you included it on a Sunday!
As requested, here's my brain burp 25 - this was a very satisfying, searching exercise.
1. I take guilty pleasure in identity/personality/character quizzes, questionnaires, lists. Like this one.
2. I know that on some level, my obsession with reading is an escapist tactic for a girl easily emotionally overwhelmed by the world.
3. I feel indescribably lucky that my husband is my best friend.
4. Though I usually identify myself as anti-materialistic, I do occasionally take great pleasure in wandering shops by myself and finding exactly the right thing to buy. But I feel deeply gluttonous when I buy a lot of food at a supermarket. I don’t know why.
5. I love dressing up in costume and taking on a character. Though I tend to loathe most Hallmark holidays, the collective absurdity of Halloween will always be special to me.
6. I miss when cartoons where only on Saturdays, and were more special for it.
7. I am intensely devoted to my cat of 13 years. I feel that after all this time, we have a great understanding and love between us.
8. I believe in a pattern of such complexity and beauty that no human mind could comprehend it, but I appreciate that all sacred teachings try to capture an echo of it, and should thus be listened to with broad strokes, not divisive, distracting detail.
9. I like graphic novels, but I don’t have the patience or stamina to make one as beautifully as I imagine.
10. I love sarcastic social commentary. It’s better for me to laugh at the things that make my blood boil.
11. Writing details gives me much more pleasure than writing plot.
12. I feel humanity reached its peaceful, organized peak long ago, but that those small cultures were quickly destroyed by the warlike ones. Us. This makes me sad.
13. I have always wanted to be a mother. And I am terrified of producing a deformed or mentally challenged child. I know this fear is selfish.
14. I appreciate my comfortable, nonsensical days in this claptrap society, because of my constant awareness/paranoia of how ridiculously fragile it is, and how unprepared we are for chaos. If I’m around when society collapses, I will make it my mission to free dogs trapped in cars, cows in stalls, chickens in barns, birds in cages, fish in tanks, cats in houses….
15. As a child I loved singing in the car with my dad and taking rambling walks with my mom.
16. Feeding wild birds in the winter gives me deep satisfaction.
17. I am afraid of traveling abroad on my own, and jealous but proud of those who aren’t.
18. Sometimes my dreams come true, and that’s unnerving. Sometimes I’m just a little bit psychic. It doesn’t do any immediate good other than to convince me that something very big is going on under the surface of what I can see. And I wonder if my fitful mental mutations will one day produce a full-blown psychic great-great-great-great grandchild.
19. I’m proud that I can hold my own in a drum group
20. I’m constantly struggling with the dream of fairness I crave life to be, and the indiscriminate, unemotional thing it actually is. I have faith that everything is exactly how it should be, in some sort of balance, and painful awareness that it does not follow my rules. Every day I try to find peace within that knowledge. Every day I have to start all over.
21. I can’t stand the beauty industry’s stranglehold on us, especially women. I hate makeup, eyebrow plucking, leg shaving, fashion. I love beauty, I see it everywhere, but not this hedge-trimming, age-denying conformity that is imposed upon us. You know what? We are already beautiful all on our own, with all our oddness. It’s time we believed it.
22. In my line of work, I have pledged never to digitally alter a person to look more “perfect” than they are. Our chaos is our beauty.
23. I don’t think I’m as creative as people think I am. I’m only really creative when I want to make something for someone. Their immediate pleasure is my inspiration. I crave to uphold routines & diligent practice, but frequently fall off my own wagons.
24. I haven’t really eaten sugar for over two years due to a delicate dance with candida albicans. I don’t really miss it. My relationship with food has changed dramatically.
25. I love when people tell me their stories and write me letters.
Here you are sistah! Love you soooo much!!
ReplyDelete~Mimi
1.) I was born on a U.S. military base while my mother was evacuating the Vietnam war. Wake Island is about 250 miles west of Honolulu and was the site of atomic missle testing during WW2. There are no inhabitants of Wake Island today. You cannot obtain access to the island at all. No wonder I'm having such a hard time obtaining a passport!
2.) My mother came to this country not knowing how to speak the language and without any family. She was able to raise 2 children, go to school, learn English, work and provide for us in the best way she could. For that, she is my hero.
3.) I have major insecurities and trust issues that derives from my childhood. Don't we all! I will forever be learning the ropes of life.. trying to work through these so-called issues. I've always believed myself to be an old soul. Even at the tender age of seven.. I remember thinking the same thoughts as I do today at the age of 33.
4.) I am a live music junkie. 95% of my friends are live music junkies. It's the tie that binds us. I don't understand people who think that music is just "background noise". Music is food for the soul. Music has healing powers. I live for my fix of live music. There are two vacations I take every year.. one being Jam Cruise and the other is New Orleans Jazz Fest. I have been attending Jazz Fest for the last 12 years and plan on doing so for the rest of my life. I have also been attending Jam Cruise since the very first maiden/vrgin voyage. It's my release from everyday life and I am thankful for all the friends I have made through the years through these two vacations. If you don't "get it" you never will.
5.) I consider New Orleans to be my 2nd home. My home away from home. I love everything New Orleans. The people, the food, the music, the culture, the city, the nightlife... EVERYTHING is beautiful in the crescent city. Alot of my college friends (music junkies like myself) ended up in New Orleans. There's a big krewe of us that gather for Jazz Fest every year and take part in the debauchery of twilight shows. There's nothing like Frenchmen Street baby!!
6.) I love to read. I should have become a librarian! Books are fuel for the mind. Heaven to me is curling up with a great book on the couch on a rainy day with a bottle of red wine, snuggled underneath the covers with my dogs nearby. I don't understand people who don't read. How can you not love books? I thank my elementary school librarian for turning me onto books by Judy Blume and Beverly Cleary at such an early age. My absolute favorite book is "Confederacy of a Dunce" by John Kennedy Toole.
7.) I am fiercely loyal to my friends. I would do anything for them and defend their honor til the day I die. However, once you screw me I am quick to lose you. I don't think twice about it and will discard people like yesterday's trash if they fuck me over.
8.) I have the most loyal partner/ boyfriend in the world! I am so lucky and blessed to have someone so understanding and forgiving that it shocks me still.. twelve years later, that he would stand by my side. He's not perfect by any means, but he is truly an inspiration. He is teaching me how to allow myself to be loved unconditionally which is something I hope to achieve one day. (this is where the trust issues step in). He truly allows me to be flirtatious crazy self and does not judge me for it.
9.) I do not believe in marriage and I have no desire to procreate children. I love kids. I love my niece and nephews more than life itself, but as far as having my own kids~ I just don't for see it in my future. I am too selfish to have kids and I don't believe it's fair to raise kids in this fucked up world. I must admit though, that as I get older... perhaps marriage isn't such a bad idea. If you can see yourself growing old with someone perhaps there's nothing wrong with "making it legal".
10.) I love animals. Especially my dogs: Molly, Elsie and Otis a.k.a. Chopper.
11.) I use to hate pit bulls but recently got stuck fostering one (a friend of a friend) and am now realizing how sweet and nurturing pit bulls can be. I changed his name from Chopper to Otis since I've always wanted a dog named Otis.
12.) I love to dance! Especially to dirty ass funk. There's nothing like sweatin' it out for hours in a seedy bar down Frenchmen Street at 5 a.m.
13.) I've always wanted to visit Greece. As soon as I get my passport, there are two places I want to visit. Greece is one of them and Viet Nam is the other.
14.) I am not close with my father at all. I don't remember the last time I hugged him or the last time we told each other "I love you". I did not meet my father til I was about 5 years old. He was a P.O.W. during the Vietnam War and I thought he had died. One day he suddenly arrives at MIA and I am wondering, who is this long haired scary looking man?
15.) I can sing "How much is that doggie in the window" in three languages. SKILLS BABY!!
16.) I have a serious problem keeping my lips to myself when I'm drunk. (Right, Sarah?) I love kissing. I love making out with random people. How my boyfriends deals with this, I don't know!
17.) I think Lenny Kravitz is one of the most beautiful man I've ever layed eyes on. Too bad his music is mediocre at best.
18.) I believe in sisterhood. You can never forget your sisters! I hate it when my girlfriends start dating a new guy and they forget about their sisters. Let me tell you now, that your sisters are there for you in ways that your man will never be. I try to make time for my sisters every month. I have an ever expanding circle of phenomenal women in my life. I love them all!
19.) Once I hit my thirties, I became more accepting of who I am... my emotions tend to run wild but I am what I am and if you can't handle it then I could care less. My body isn't as thin as it use to be but I accept it for what it is and try my best to take care of it by eating right and exercising.
20.) I am a major foodie. I love to cook. I love to be catered to. I have some serious chef friends and have learned alot about food and wines throughout the last decade or so. I am proud to say I have sat at the Chef's table at Commander's Palace where my friend Tory is the executive chef, and had him cook a seven course meal for me and some girlfriends. Those of you who aren't foodies, will never get it. Foie gras is a piece of heaven!
21.) I love the city of Asheville, N.C. It reminds me of what Coconut Grove was in the eighties. Everyone there is an artist and one way or another. It's a city with plenty of culture but still has that small town feeling to it, which is what I need in my life right now. I see Asheville in my future after leaving South Florida whenever that may be.
22.) I want to further my education and continue to learn new things for the rest of my life. My brain needs constant stimulation or else I just get bored.
23.) I love listening to old scratchy records. There's something about that rawness of albums.. the imperfection of it that makes it oh so perfect!
24.) I am blessed to have some of the most beautiful, kind and genuine people in my life. Some may just pass through, others stick around and will be around forever... but I am truly grateful for everyone who has touched my heart and soul in one way or another. All the freaky people make the beauty of the world!
25.) I have made mistakes in my life, more recently I have done things that I never thought imaginable. But I will learn to forgive myself and allow myself to heal in order to love the life I am given. Everything does NOT happen for a reason, but I know I must learn from my mistakes and I realize that there is nothing I cannot overcome if I put my mind and heart to it. There are no regrets in life. I will use my experiences to become a better person.
1. There are only a few people in this world who truly know me.
ReplyDelete2. There is only one person who knows me as well as I know myself.
3. My daughter is the person that I admire most in the world.
4. I challenge myself to see and focus on the best in people.
5. I am changing my life.
6. I am the only thing that stands in my way.
7. I have devoted my life to serving God, and do so in my own way.
8. I am complicated.
9. I am learning how to take a compliment.
10. I am not afraid of death.
11. I go treasure hunting in thrift stores.
12. It's easier for me to list the qualities in myself that I perceive as negative.
13. I hate being told what to do, or being controlled in any way.
14. I think I'm right, most of the time.
15. I don't know nearly as much as I used to think I did.
16. Although the things that are most important to me are free, I really appreciate nice things.
17. I am really focusing on bridging the gap between who I am and who I want to be.
18. I don't like to do things that I'm not good at.
19. My accomplishments are usually achieved by sheer determination.
20. I pay close attention.
21. I distract myself.
22. I am much more than I give myself credit for.
23. I hate talking on the phone, most of the time.
24. I have yet to live up to my full potential.
25. I am careful when I wish I wouldn't be, and careless in the same way.
The infamous 25
ReplyDelete1. I am not that into the blogging/profile world yet find myself addicted to reading about others through them.
2. I am overly obsessed with the Dave Matthews Band and cannot go more than a few days without quoting, listening to, looking up, or singing something written about them.
3. I have come to the realization that you do not have to see or hang out with people ALL the time to be extremely close with them.
4. I am working on being a true partner with the man that I love.
5. I cry at sad movies, happy movies, movies and songs that elicit a proud feeling. Basically, I'm a crier :)
6. I have never broken a bone. And only had stitches twice.
7. I want to have kids but the idea scares the crap out of me.
8. My favorite meal is breakfast, yet i only eat it on the weekends.
9. I want to be a person that paints, but i have never tried to paint.
10. I love eating chicken wings, drinking beer, and watching football.
11. I am extremely close with my parents and brother. As I've grown older our relationships have evolved into a sort of parental friendship. I couldn't live without them in my life.
12. I drastically change my hairstyle more than twice a year.
13. I love tattoos, but am scared to death of needles
14. I have come to realize that my childhood was one of the most perfect experiences. After listening to many friends and lovers stories of theirs I grow more and more thankful everyday that I grew up in a loving, nurturing, and accepting environment. I believe it has shaped who i am today and how i interact with people today.
15. I am very passive but i like to describe it as accepting. Often I feel taken advantage of even by those close to me because I accept them for exactly who they are at every given moment and that is not always returned. I wouldn't change it though.
16. I love Florida but cannot wait to leave the state.
17. I spend my alone time in the dark in silence listening to my own thoughts.
18. I have 5 animals that produce a massive amount of hair :)
19. I yearn to cuddle all the time, even while cuddling.
20. Debating with my husband is one of my favorite past times.
21. I try to live each day as a new beginning, letting go of anyone or anything that may have not gone so hot yesterday. I find ideally who I am is not who I am everyday but am consciously trying to stay present and true to who I want to be not what society may want me to be. An inner battle always exists.
22. My goal as far as my education goes is to earn a PhD by the age of 50, but I believe I will be in school my entire life. Education does not have to be at a University it can be in life.
23. I love sitting in nature listening to it sing and do not do this enough.
24. I would one day like to live in another country for at least a year.
25. I am ruled by my emotions, they are very deep and very strong for many people and aspects of my life. I am learning to bridge together emotions with the analytical mind to make a harmony of balanced decisions. I am always growing.
25 things is not nearly enough to describe every part of who I am or who I hope to be, but a fun activity nontheless.
Hi Sarah - here you go as asked...my 26 random thoughts...
ReplyDelete1. I have wanderlust - I have a trip for the Bahamas & Greece planned for this year
2. I have truly loved only 2 men in my life and have great memories with both of them.
3. I want an apt - I don't like yard work
4. I have an almost 14 year old boy (I know I look good for my age, right? :p)
5. I still bite my nails even though I have acrylic ones over them!
6. I love brie, fresh bread, fruit and wine for any meal
7. I eat dinner food for breakfast
8. I always order hot tea with milk - I don't like cold drinks from Sept to March
9. I can eat sushi everyday and not get sick of it
10. I wish I lived down south - closer to my mother-in-law
11. I'm moving south in 5 years
12. My mother-in-law is my best friend and always will be (She knows what I really feel about things before I do)
13. My dad had cancer last year and won the battle!
14. Most people don't know that I was married for 4 years before I told anyone
15. I love NCIS and watch Marathons all weekend long just to see Gibbs - I have older men issues! :)
16. I drink 4-6 cups of tea everyday, but rarely drink anything else
17. I named my son Austin Jon because it means "magnificent son of God"
18. I still sing N dance like I'm 16 when I clean my house
19. I LOVE country music and would love to visit Nashville
20. I promised my grandma that I wouldn't leave NY before she dies
21. I can get out of a spin in a car because my ex-husband taught me how (by making me go in & out of them on purpose)
22. I have been in 5 car accidents - I caused 2
23. I miss my "old family" every day (some of you won't know what that means - sorry!
24. I call my mom everyday and miss her when I don't speak with her
25. I really do love ALL my sisters - even if they tend to drive me insane
26. I love my friend June and will always be here for her no matter what!
Russ Neidhardt
ReplyDelete-Brother Bean-
1: When I first learned to walk, I shortly thereafter taught myself how to escape my crib. My parents would put me to bed, and minutes later I’d be standing next to them.
2: When I was about 6 or 7 I was absolutely obsessed with Huey Lewis and the News. Everyday, I would gather my friends in our loft, and we would perform “The Power Of Love “ to nobody.
3: I love the color Green
4: My ideal relaxation state is eating mac n cheese with my lady, watching seinfeld.
5: I once dressed up as an elf for breakfast with Santa. The next year, I participated, but dressed as a Russ instead.
6: I can recite the greek alphabet 3 times in 30 seconds
7: I had my appendix removed in the 6th grade. Because they felt bad for me, my parents bought me a Super Nintendo.
8: I hate for food on my plate to touch
9: My favorite season is autumn. Since moving away from that season 7 years ago, my best memories associated with it are Allentown’s harvest festival : AHS football games : Pi Kappa Phi hayrides : Driving the merit parkway : Phish fall tour
10: I found my dog, Kaylei, as a stray while I was in school in West Virginia. She was tied to a gas pump drinking out of a small cup of water. It was about to snow. When I walked into the store, I asked what she was doing there and how long she’d been. The clerk told me that she had been there all day and that someone had walked up, strapped her there and left. I gave the clerk my telephone # and asked that they call me if no one claimed her by dark. I walked outside and stopped to pet her. She licked my hand gently, and I undid her leash and loaded her into my car. That was 9 years ago.
11: I am really bad about having a cell phone. When I am done with work, I put it somewhere and don’t look at it again unless I need to.
12: I am a horrible procrastinator.
13: I can pick up most musical instruments and play them with proficiency.
14: I always think I am right. You can imagine how that works out when I find out I am wrong.
15: My brother is my best friend in the whole world.
16: I saved my fiancé’s life by taking her in during hurricane Jeanne.
17: I have to have one leg out of the covers when sleeping.
18: I played “Nana” the dog in our high school presentation of “Peter Pan”.
19: I buried my wristwatch somewhere in the Adirondack mountains. At the time it seemed like a very good idea.
20: My first concert experience was NELSON @ PNC bank arts center (then, it was the Garden State Arts Center)
21: My favorite song to see in the first set is “Guelah Papyrus”
22: I attended Leadership Training Camp.
23: My fiancé comes from a French Canadian family. I have been slowly learning to speak French (or at least the Canadian-french) over the years. I seem to only ever pick up the silly slang…
24: Before Facebook, I would very often google old friends’ names in hopes of finding them and communicating. After doing so, I would wonder if I was the only person who would do that…and think that maybe I was a little weird.
25: as the years have passed, I have met more and more people who claim to have hated high school. I feel very lucky to have had the exact opposite experience in my life. For me, High school is up there in the top 4 time periods of my life.