awakening....

it had been a long time since i dreamed of him. i don't know if i had ever dreamt about him, so symbolically and so cryptically.

i was walking in a cemetery, and i was passing his headstone to my right. i knew that he was alive, living in the same hotel/apt building as myself across this street. he had a plot here, with his name already on it, for some day in the future. i noticed there was a package and a large pad of drawing paper. i figured the post man had dropped it here when he couldn't get into the building. i noticed it as i walked past with my two male companions. usually, i tried not to look at his grave as i walked through the cemetery.

we walked for a while longer, and decided to turn around. the sky was grey, and there was an storm in the distance. i mentioned something about bringing this package to his door. well, be careful, warned one of my companions, and be quiet. i mentioned the fact that i was only going to drop it off, but heeded the warning for silence. scooping the packages, i crossed the street and made my way into the building, cool drizzle beginning to hit my face. the first couple of elevators i tried would only go to floor 1, 2, and 20. so after some time and manuevering, i found one that would go to level 5. others kept joining at the last minute, prohibiting my ascension. one woman came in with two babies, and asked me if she could store them a certain way in their strollers. at first, i thought she might have mistaken me for a worker, but my reflection in the mirror showed i was in workout clothes, and drenched with sweat. i informed her that i had no clue about babies. she asked me to help her choose a lipgloss from the in-elevator store instead.

everyone had left the elevator, at all levels, before i did... and i was having trouble getting to 5. i was stuck on 8 for a while. when i finally made it to 5, i heard shuffling and whistling, and i panicked thinking it was him. i had dropped the package, so i went to pick it up. as the doors opened, i realized that i wasn't very clear on which apartment number was his. had it really been so long since we were together? it seemed like only yesterday....

i was immediately in a lobby and strolling first past a bar, when i saw him seated there in an orange shirt. i realized he was sitting between two girls, so as much as i wanted to use this as an excuse to approach him, i didn't want to interrupt his date. in my passing, i saw that one of the women, whom he seemed to be seated behind on a stool, was in fact leaning over the bar and wearing a headset. she was an employee. but there was one other woman, seated to his left..... and although his stoic stance made me questions whether they were there together, i decided not to risk it.

so i started walking towards the hallway, confident i would find my way to his door by memory. the floor opened up into a sort of ballroom. "Hey Sarah!", i heard someone call out, from a long table holding about a dozen or fifteen people or so. it was adam, a good friend of his, with whom i had lost touch since our breakup, due to a sticky incident. he was older looking and his hair was greying. He didn't ask what i was doing on this floor. He did ask if i possibly wanted to get lunch on monday, before i left and all. I agreed. Just then, another man walked up behind me, full of stature, purple and glory. His name was Jon, and although i recognized him, he didn't seem to fit with the group at the table. His eyes were full of longing, and he pulled me into his massive embrace to tell me that he had missed me so. i asked if they were there for a wedding and i was told that "urn and rebecca" had gotten engaged.

i realized as i strutted away that i was no longer wearing my workout clothes, but a form fitting purple shirt, my favorite skirt, and kitten heels. as i made my way down the hallways, strange music was errupting over the next ballroom and it looked like a sort of chinese prom, only some of the girls were carrying parasols.

i thought of going back to the bar to make a joke of it, and remind him of our time there.

i immediately awoke in bed. i wondered what time it was, and thought.... if i look at my clock and have enough time to go back to sleep, i will try to go back and give him the package. i picked up my phone to check the time, and as i hit the first button, my alarm went off.