temerarious

tis my new self describing adjective.

i do believe its ideally appropo. if you don't know what it means, look it up. i had never even heard of the word until last week, and i think it pertinently represents some recent actions of mine..... so it resonates pretty damn perfectly.

so i'm finishing up here.... technically, since its after midnight i guess you could consider this my final day in florida. the last week has brought with it so many wonderful, tumultuous, and indescribable experience. tears of joy and ecstasy, the frustration of being let down by members of humanity, a feeling of simultaneous longing, letting go, transition, strife, angst, disappointment, awe, excitement, overjoy, despair, movement, ecstasy, misunderstanding, confusion...... what a time indeed!

so as i close this chapter, i do not look back in anger, but around in awareness. a recent emotional battle which has seemingly overridden my psyche has caused me to feel a sense of negativity and ill feelings towards someone with whom i was very recently enthralled with. whose presence was one of indescribable and unexpected urgency. and i felt a deep loss and disappointment when it seemed to suddenly backfire and blow up in my face. a close friend of mine, whom i usually disapprove of for his overly analytical psychological perspective and diagnoses (he's got a masters in psych, so can't really help it) hit the nail on the head when he proposed the theory that maybe i was putting so much energy and emotion into this specific situation and person to distract me from everything else that was going on in my immensely transitory state. and he was right on. however, despite the diagnosis, the fact that i just got my period, the full moon of last week..... i desperately wish i could have some closure with this situation to rid myself of the bad taste which is lingering in my mouth...... ah, the joys of passion.

on a lighter note, i've had several of the most consecutively amazing and enticing days of my life. being painted in an art show (http://picasaweb.google.com/sarah.e.wells/lovesexthemuse), saying goodbye to friends, sexy moments with long time desires coming into fruition, and some much needed but highly unexpected closure with the most overriding love of my life thusfar. ended my love affair with saint petersburg, where my heart has resided for some time, and where it will always have a home.

last night, i had my first cake fight and it was completely heavenly. i don't think i've had that much fun or laughed that hard in a while.

so here i come san francisco. you better be ready for me, as i am so damn ready for you. cheers to love, to life, to moving on, and to drinking in all it has to offer.